Tag Archives: funny

Hump Day Bears

September 18, 2013

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It's Hump Day

Happy Hump Day Baby, Now Plug In And Lets Shake things up a bit! We need to make baby bear so he can get the porridge!

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Divorced Barbie

September 15, 2013

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Divorced Barbie Includes Kens House

Divorced Barbie Includes Kens House, Car, and his Salary!

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Missing Nuts

September 14, 2013

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A Couple of Nuts Are Missing

I’ve noticed the squirrels are beginning to gather nuts for winter.A couple of my friends are missing. Are you in a safe place!!

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Casual Friday

September 13, 2013

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Casual Friday

Casual Fridays The concept of paying a nominal fee too dress down on Fridays, Usually the Money is given to a charity!

 

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HairStyle If I Said I Liked This Hairstyle I’d Be Lion

September 6, 2013

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Hair Style If I Said I Liked This Hairstyle I'd Be Lion

I think this new Hairstyle makes me look wild. What do you think?

 

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Hippie Barbie

September 5, 2013

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Hippie Barbie

Hippie Barbie! Because Old Hippies Need Loving Too!

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Sunday Things To Do

September 1, 2013

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Sunday Things To Do

Sunday Things To Do, What’s your to do list say? Mine says, It’s Sunday Take a break enjoy yourself. The good Lord gave you a day to rest it’s called Sunday! Enjoy relax, refresh and reboot! That’s My Motto! The Work week begins on Monday, why rush it!!!!

 

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Sunday Morning Sex

August 26, 2013

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Sex On Sunday

Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. “Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.” She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”
If you do not laugh at this, then you are seriously depressed, make a doctor’s appointment. I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

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Mom Break

August 25, 2013

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Mom Needs A Break

Did You ever do this to your little brother or know someone that did! Well, if you did, I bet your Mom needed to do this to you Laugh out loud!

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Fabulous Saturday

August 24, 2013

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Fabulous Saturday

Saturday is a time to make yourself look absolutly fabulous and have a wicked weekend friends!

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Friday Thank God

August 23, 2013

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Friday Thank God

Holy Cat It’s Friday!!! The end of the work week and the beginning of the weekend!

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Morning Prayer

August 22, 2013

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Morning Prayer

A Morning Prayer So far today lord I have done all right. I haven’t gossiped. I haven’t been greedy. Grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over indulgent. And I haven’t told anyone to mind there own business and stay out of mine. I’m really glad about that. But in a few minutes. God I’m going to get out of bed; and from then on i’m probably going to need a lot of help.

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Monday Wake Up

August 19, 2013

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Monday Wake Up

Monday Wake Up! Just once I would like to wake up on Monday Morning, turn on the news and hear Monday has been canceled!

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Almost Friday

August 15, 2013

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Friday is Almost Here

Count down to Friday Ya Buddy!!!!

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Can You See Friday Over The Hump

August 14, 2013

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Can You See Friday Over This Hump

Can You see Friday Over the Hump!

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Monday Alert

August 12, 2013

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Monday Alert! Monday Is Here

Monday Alert, Daffy Duck is on a mission to let you know the work week has started! Have a great week!

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Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

August 6, 2013

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Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together! These Birds obviously hang at the same coffee shop everyday! They look like the have been tweaked up on caffeine for days !

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Mirror Mirror

July 28, 2013

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Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror The Old Lady in My Mirror
A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved
into my house. I have no idea where she came from, or how she
got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day, she
wasn’t there, and the next day, she was.
She is a clever old lady, and manages to keep out of sight for the
most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her.
And whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there
she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous
face and body. This is very rude. I have tried screaming
at her, but she just screams back.
If she insists on hanging around, the least she could do is offer to
pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a dollar
bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa
cushion, but it is not nearly enough.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing
money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few
days later it’s all gone. I certainly don’t spend money THAT fast, so
I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You’d think
she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream. She
needs it. And money isn’t the only thing I think she is stealing.
Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate – especially the good
stuff like ice cream, cookies, and candy. I can’t seem to keep that
stuff in the house anymore. She must have a real sweet tooth, but
she’d better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds.
I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is
tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on
weight, too.
For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty
games, like going into my closets when I’m not home and altering
my clothes so they don’t fit. And she messes with my files and
papers so I can’t find anything. this is particularly annoying since I
am extremely neat and organized. She also fiddles with my VCR
so it does not record what I have carefully and correctly
programmed.
She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into
my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do, and blurs the
print so I can’t read it. And she has done something really sinister
to the volume controls on my TV, radio and telephone. Now, all I
hear are mumbles and whispers.
She has done other things – like make my stairs steeper, my
vacuum cleaner heavier and all my knobs and faucets harder to
turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of
it is a real challenge. Lately, she has been fooling with my
groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making
it almost impossible for me to open the jars. Is this any way to
repay my hospitality?
She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try
something on, she stands in front of the mirror and monopolizes it.
She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she
keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.
Just when I thought she couldn’t get any meaner, she proved me
wrong. She came along when I went to get my picture taken for
my driver’s license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she
jumped in front of me! No one is going to believe that the picture
of that old lady is me.
Patsy Clairmont’s book NORMAL IS JUST A SETTING ON YOUR DRYER.

 

 

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